Written for Fethiye Times and with photos by Mike Vickers.

I’ve always admired the wonderfully haphazard eccentricity of collective nouns; a parliament of owls, a bike of bees, a nest of rumours, a murmuration of starlings, and one of my very favourites, a rumba of rattlesnakes. I love them all!

Well, here’s a few of my own invention, based on photos I’ve taken of everyday life in and around Fethiye. There may already be well established collective nouns for some of these, but let’s put those to one side for a moment and engage in a little eccentricity of our own.

Feature photo above: A piglet of peppers, all with curly tails.

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

A Pearly-King of caps, on sale in Fethiye’s Paspatur. 

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

A Madonna of melons. Remember that nosecone bra she used to wear? By the way, there’s always an odd one out.

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

An impracticality of nails. Gardening obviously does not register on this very elegant lady’s radar.

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

A liaison of mannequins. This discreet rendezvous was uncovered in Kalkan. 

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

An aah of toilet pans. Enough said! 

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

An expense of water meters, seen peeping out from foliage in Fethiye old town

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

A jiggle of bras. Colourfully displayed over-shoulder-boulder-holders at Karaçulha market.

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

An appreciation of sobas. These were from Elmali, where winter heat is essential.

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

A bounce of swallows, all chattering together on a very springy reed in the Dalyan delta.

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

A parabola of satellite dishes, resting in Fethiye before flying on south for the winter.

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

A restraint of ropes from Göcek. Pick yours to match your maritime decor.

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

A slurring of gin. The consequences of imbibing so liberally can result in…

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

…a hallucination of cushions. This cheerful menagerie of surreal animals caught my eye in the Paspatur.

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

A haemorrhoid of pumpkins. Ouch!

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

A luminescence of lamps. A veritable Aladdin’s cave in Fethiye.

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

A metropolis of sesame stalks. Autumnal wigwam city up near Kadıköy.

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

An avoidance of sheep bottoms – the real reason why the chicken hurriedly crossed the road near Çameli.

Readers' Album - Collective Nouns

And finally, on a topical note, here’s a pandemic of toilet rolls.